Sunday, March 07, 2010


Well, here I am back again, wanting more social networking that connects to the shadowy places of our desires, the places that makes us so uniquely ourselves. I have not been in a writing mood lately. My wife has been busier than usual as she is finishing a masters degree. Needless to say intimacy has been at an all time low. As she seems especially uninterested in expanding her sexual horizons, I have thought lately about switching my ambitions from bringing a man to her to finding a couple for myself. I once had a long relationship with another couple in which the husband was particularly aroused by his wife and I playing together. both erotically and emotionally, threesomes have a lot to offer. I will try to upload some pics from an adventure we enjoyed last summer to make this blog a bit more spicey. But mainly I would like to do more questioning of the nature of fantasy, fetish and their relationship to relationship.

It seems to me that fantasy is a nice image that you can return to as you please. Whereas fetish is a picture that you cannot rid yourself of. It comes form psychological damage and is a gift in dealing with that damage.


bdenied said...

well I just think one should explore their fantasies and if they are a fetish so be it...

Bubbha said...

Yeah, I would hate to make anyone uptight about this distinction. But it ocures to me that it may be significant. For example, people into BDSM are much more likely to have been abused as children than other sample groups. Perhaps our fantasies have the capacity to aid in the healing process and that when this happens fantasies tend to become fetishes. I suspect that there is a great deal that we can learn from this. For example what, from a psychological perspective, motivates the cuckold desire. It seems to me that this is likely to be a wide range of things. We are likely to learn a lot as we look at these differences. Some cucks are into feminization and others not. The whole study of psychology was born in Freud's idea that we could deduce information from dreams. Isn't it likely that our waking fantasies and fetishes are more telling of our inner life?

I have many fantasies. I only have one fetish.