I'm back at least for this single post. As this blog is on my profile at Flickr, I occasionally get responses about it. I will try to do a better job of keeping up and maybe even promoting the blog. I encourage comments. If you have something that you would like to put on the top level please send it to me at sextex@gmail.com.

I am always fascinated by the integrity disconnect that people have with their sexuality. To a large degree there are two camps of people: those who fully embrace, at least certain aspects of their sexuality, and those who build a brick wall around their sexuality, or at least a well fortified bedroom door.

Those who embrace their sexuality tend to be high libido people, and they seem to have no choice in the matter. They tend to bring little attention to any aspect of sexuality other than the purely physical. It seems, for example, that swingers are almost always a couple with two high libido partners.

Most of the rest of society seems to view their own sexuality as taboo. Sexuality contains too much vulnerability for most of us to be comfortable bringing it out in the light of day or with more than the one person that we must trust. For many the vulnerability is too great even for self-examination. People are embarrassed by their sexuality.

I believe that overcoming fear of vulnerability is the key to the next great paradigm shift in actualizing human potential. Sexuality is the most direct conduit other have to our inner identities; as such it is the focal point of vulnerability. Luckily it is also something that we are biologically drawn to.

If we look at the history of human sexuality, it has been a progression from strictly biological function to something that connects us in more sophisticated ways. Certainly the development of romantic love has been transforming. The next step in which romantic love becomes a less guarded link but becomes a more abundent link between wider networks of people will, I believe, provide a new paradigm. One in which relationships become more sophisticated and sustaining of the individual and the community. This paradigm will provide a model of security in which human creativity is free to more fully blossom. Unfortunatley most people remain as open minded about monogomy as they are about politics and religion.

What has been deemed “the sexual revolution” was, I believe, the precursor to the real sexual revolution, which we are on the cusp of. I consider myself a sexual revolutionary. Well okay maybe revolutionary is too bold a word. My goal is to convince people that sexuality is an amazing and beautiful aspect of humanity to be embraced and practiced. Not surprisingly, any efforts along these lines have always been very academic. It is necessary in the academic, scientific, objective to isolate ones own perspective and keep it out of the equation. The academic approach is a safe copout.

We are in need of a social transformation. Most people would agree with the statement that sexuality is a beautiful and even powerful aspect of humanity. However, if you describe most any nuance of some one elses sexual preference, they will make a face and say, “ewwwue.” In comparison take that same person on a nature walk and show them the vast variety of flowers, something that they also recognize as beautiful, and they will immediately find the beauty with fascination.

One of the truly amazing aspects of sexuality is its power of healing. It seems that fetishes are often an aspect of dealing with past injuries. Take BDSM for example, a large percentage of people who are active participants in this lifestyle have experienced traumatic sexual experiences as a child. This is fascinating, beautiful and potentially very significant.

But in order to develop the kind of environment in which people can easily access and explore their sexual identities, we must stop turning our noses up at the unique aspects of individual's sexual make up.

This is important so that we can each embrace with joy our own sexual profile. It is also an important aspect of community building. Take for example the issue of pedophilia. This seems to be a very prevalent aspect of human sexuality. Anyone who spends any time at all on the naughtier side of the internet soon realizes that teens and other aspects of a hunger for youth is probably the most common theme. And this is not simply an aspect of our sick modern society, as evangelicals would have us believe. Certainly the Greeks and other societies embraced it more fully and acceptingly than do we.

I am not prepared to provide apologetics for pedophiles. To the contrary, I believe that one of the ways that culture advances is in the protection of the week and vulnerable. Children should be protected, not from sex, but from those who would prioritize their own sexual preferences. This includes any aspect of coercion. As a liberal I am ashamed of Bill Clinton, not because he had sex in the oval office, lied about it, or jeopardized the integrity of the presidency, but because he had sex with a subordinate. I am disappointed in the liberal community for not calling him on it. Should sexual harassment in the work place be tolerated at any level?

The problem is that we so often fail to distinguish between desires and actions in our hyper judgmental society. It seems that pedophilia is hugely common; it is probably an aspect of dealing with our own experiences as children, yet there is no tolerance for people to deal with it in anyway. If, as a society, we could accept that people have these desires and realize that these fantasies are a mechanism of healing then maybe we could provide outlets that did not involve victimizing children. Pedophiles need to deal with their urges. If we do not provide a means of doing that, they will do it in the worst way possible.

Fortunately, pedophilia is not one of my fantasies, so I have very little to offer in terms of suggestions of how we might create a society that allows for people’s sexual feelings to be accepted in away that does not victimize children. I do know that the fantasies I have are not a matter of choice. They are as much a part of me as my arms and legs. It makes no sense to make people ashamed of who they are. It does make sense to prevent them from victimizing others. Repression seems to be the best predictor that there will be victims. Yet repression is what we insist on.

[To be played to a bluesy gospel tune]

Ah, sweet spirituality – the baby gone with the dirty bathwater of religion. For so many well-educated and otherwise thinking people, spirituality is counterintuitive. That is because they are trapped in a materialist perspective of Martin Heidegger’s one-track thinking. They have so much faith in the common, static and measurable that they refuse to consider, much less dance with, the glorious universe of the unique, dynamic and unseen.

This universe is the domain of love, friendship, the ability of music to change our mood, beauty and sexuality. We do not need religion, faith in deities or a lack of innocent cynicism to recognize the connections that make the whole greater than the perceived sum of the parts.

Poor, Poor brother Haggard, his soul was sucked by the congregation.
Spirituality spewed forth when he was sucked in the streets of degradation.
There was salvation in the sin.
ise elders will keep that from ever happening again.
Do you know who the devil is,
When life gives you this.

I have not been around much of late. I will try to get back into the blog thing.

Sex Magic

As I tend to be overly abstract and could (and will) go on with the axioms of Expanded Intimacy (EI), my goal here is to bring together the erudite and the perverted, the sentimental and the rational, the objective and the spiritual. So let us turn this discussion to the carnival of our sexuality.

Though I am not much of a New Ager, I will say that sex has a rather magical quality about. Sex can be a conduit like no other in facilitating human transcendence. Sartre said that “true” transcendence was only possible at the moment of mutual orgasm, when two people are totally open and vulnerable. While I find the concept of “true” transcendence to be a bit too absolute and the overall declaration to be an over simplification, I would not argue that he is on to two very important components of transcendence.

Perhaps a mother breast-feeding her baby is another point of great transcendence. There is a similar biological magic involved in both moments. This is a spell of hormones that are released, which draw us into emotional closeness.

During the first three to six months of a new relationship there are hormones released that create a great deal of tolerance for the new apple of our eye.

Damn, I am still being abstract. Gee, lets see…these hormones create hard throbbing cocks that desire nothing more than to plunge relentlessly into the wet dripping pussies of craven sluts. Okay, I know that doesn’t really cut it for those lurking for a glimpse of my sweet naked wife. But hopefully the glimpse is enough and in time I can meander my way to the dark margins of deprived and psychologically twisted fantasy.

But, we cannot depend solely on her tender breasts. Other should also supply depictions of graphic vulnerability. Though my preference is for the feminine, please take liberty as you wish.

Dynamic complexity

I will use this blog to elaborate the ideas of expanded intimacy. I will also use it to reveal and explore the most intimate details of my life and fantasies to provide the balance of reality to the abstractions of theory. I will also use pictures, mainly of my beautiful wife, to provide visual appeal, texture and dimension. I welcome constructive comments on all aspects.

Expanded intimacy contains dynamic complexity. That is, it is intended to model proximally repeating patterns in human existence from the personal to cultural.

The base metaphor is that of the pebble tossed into a calm pool of water. If you are the stone, the first ring is first relationships – primary caregiver. The second ring would be siblings and other first friendships. The third ring would be the formation of a network of friends. Then community; culture, and expanding out in a force that is like gravity in its infinite reach. These are the patterns of connection to the web of existence that, at its farthest reach, connects us in the universe and at its nearest reach connects us to our own existence.

The pebble could also be a group or a culture. The rings radiate in a similar pattern. Unlike the pool, this process is very dynamic. That is everything you do in on ring informs the other rings. So, for example, even if you have a poor relationship with your parents as a child, you may learn something as an adult in relationship to friends or culture that allows you to change the pattern of the inner ring. And especially if you can change the pattern of the inner rings, or the pebble itself, it is going to have a significant impact on subsequent rings. This forms a fabric of connection that is nonlinear.

EI #1

This is my beautiful wife. I love her dearly, tenderly and uniquely. And here I use the image of her spectacular body to create visceral balance to cerebral rambling

When I first conceptualized the ideas of Expanded Intimacy, I thought of it as a theory. Lately I prefer to think of it as a myth. Not a myth in the sense of ancient religion, but a myth in the sense of a structured metaphor to pour the meaning of life into. The idea is to find a context for a paradigm shift that improves our ability to tap into human potential in a way that will bring sustainable joy, growth and wonder to our experience here on earth.

These ides start out as simple and axiomatic but they soon lead to very different ways of looking at the world that challenge traditional ideas and institutions.

I prefer the landscapes of the margins where we are reborn in innocent irreverence to find meaning in the illogical.

This blog will weave mind, body and connection (spirit if you will.)

Together we can unit perverts and the pious, find the freedom to seek balance in chaos.